


its halloween baby!

by lmao_bats (lmao_thunder)



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bruce making fun of Batman, Clark liberally using endearments, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Kara just wants to trick or treat, M/M, Trick or Treat Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27307897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lmao_thunder/pseuds/lmao_bats
Summary: bruce and clark arguing over costumes and then taking kara trick or treating.
Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 3
Kudos: 38
Collections: Batsupes Tricks & Treats 2020





	its halloween baby!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trinket](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trinket/gifts).



> Here's my treat for Trinket! I hope this makes you laugh. Please enjoy!
> 
> ||  
> Updated 02/17: Changed the username on this fic from my primary account (lmao_thunder) to a new pseud (lmao _bats) that I made just for DC fic for any readers who have read this fic before.

Bruce looks down at the two costumes laid out on the bed before looking up at his boyfriend of three years with a raised eyebrow. The taller man gives him a crooked smile and pushes his glasses up with his knuckle. Clark Kent is adorable but that does not mean he is going to get away with the suggestion of Bruce dressing up in some ridiculous spandex costume. 

“Superheroes, Clark? Really?” 

If Bruce had to dress up in some ridiculous costume, he would much rather it be something else. Perhaps someone fun and whimsical like Leonard Bernstein-- the corner of his lips turns up at the thought. Not as some overdramatic superhero; clad in what is basically a monochrome of black and charcoal with a giant bat carved into the chest of the outfit, while also donning a ridiculous vaguely bat shaped cowl to hide his do-gooding and trauma. 

Bruce would never. 

“I thought you would appreciate the drama of it.” Clark says as he gestures toward the neatly presented costumes while Bruce makes a face of displeasure-- like he is watching laundry getting dumped onto a chair, both brows furrowed in a shade of disappointment and astonishment. 

“The drama of it?” He nearly gasps, astonished at the mere suggestion that he is some overdramatic 30-something man-child going through an early mid-life crisis, as he folds his arms across his chest, “Are you suggesting that I would want to dress up as some kind of giant  _ bat _ man?” 

“Babe, it’s literally a Batman costume.” 

Bruce scoffs. 

  
A lesser would take Bruce Wayne, billionaire and philanthropist, at face value. Perhaps they would return the costumes and suggest something more apro-pro to the man’s taste, like the first American born conductor to lead an American orchestra-- because that sounds more like something that he would like. But Clark Kent, born and raised local Kansas corn boy, has no such reverence for a man simply because he has inherited a lot of money. 

But he is also, as his beloved friend and coworker Lois Lane would put it, “A clown.” So he had to pick something Bruce would find ridiculous. Hence the Batman and Superman costumes. Honestly, the billionaire should be thankful that Clark did not present him with any _ truly  _ ridiculous superhero costumes like Captain America and Iron Man. Clark knows that at the end of the night Bruce Wayne would just want to have a good time with the people he cares about, even at the expense of his dignity. 

Bruce Wayne knows this, but continues his tirade regardless. 

“That is such a stupid name for a hero. At least Superman makes sense as a hero name in a vague sort of way because he is a  _ super- _ man.” 

“Well,” Clark says with a smile,“Then you can be Superman, sweetheart.”

“And wear horrifying red and blue spandex? I think not Clark.” 

* * *

Bruce pouts while he stands in front of the large mirror in their walk-in closet and watches as a costumed Clark adjusts his Batman costume for him. For what is essentially a cheaply made and overpriced costume, the outfit fits him well. Clark smooths down Bruce's surprisingly silky black cape and proceeds to give him a bright smile through the mirror. 

"You look so good Bruce!" 

"I still think the fact that  _ you _ are making  _ me _ dress up, as a giant  _ bat _ man no less, is ridiculous."

"It's either we dress up to take Kara trick or treating or we dress up to go to that stuck up gala you got invited to. Pick your poison baby.” 

Bruce pauses for a second, as if to consider his options. 

"Okay fine. Give me the dumb cowl, at least Kara is not annoying.” 

Clark hands it over. Bruce looks at the mask, sighs in quiet exasperation and defeat, and slides it on. It is either this or the paparazzi. 

Bruce Wayne is the Batman. He may as well lean into it. 

"Grr. I'm Batman." He jokes and Clark bursts into a bright peal of laughter before he leans over to kiss Bruce on his mask covered forehead. 

* * *

"The candy this neighborhood is giving out is  _ amazing _ , they’re giving out full chocolate bars and everything! And no toothbrushes or raisins!" Kara exclaims as she digs through the purple plastic pumpkin she was using to hold her candy. 

“Yes, god forbid a stranger encourages a child to practice good dental hygiene.” Bruce says dryly. 

Kara is clearly far more interested in getting her next candy fix, as she ignores Bruce’s comment in favor of scoping out her latest victims: a charming blue house with a myriad of dancing skeletons on the lawn. 

"Bruce picked a great neighborhood,” Clarks says cheerfully, before turning his smile onto his batman, “Thanks babe.”

“Yeah. Whatever.” Bruce mumbles. It was not like he and Alfred had meticulously researched neighborhoods in Metropolis before they picked Kara up for trick or treating. Goodness knows that Gotham would have been an inappropriate place to take the youth for Halloween. 

"Okay wait here Superman and Batman! Robin will go save the day!" Kara shouts as she bounces down the driveway of the blue skeleton house, a mob of children join her at the doorstep to shout a chorus of, “Trick or treat!” 

"Ridiculous costumes and strangers giving children candy. This is such a weird holiday. Why do we allow ourselves to do these things?”    
  
Bruce Wayne is nothing, if not committed to curmudgeonry. 

"It's Halloween, baby! It's all about having fun Bruce. Lighten up! Don't be a Scrooge."

"Wrong holiday Clark." Bruce mutters with a small eye roll. “And I’m wearing a cape, not a nightgown.” 

"Oh hush, sweetheart." 

  
If Superman leans down to give Batman a sweet kiss, well it’s no one's business but theirs (and their Robin’s).

"Oh ewww. Guys, there's no time to kiss! We need to keep saving the day. _ I need more candy! _ " 


End file.
